In August of 2008, I moved out of my parents home in Aurora and moved into my own apartment in Littleton, CO. I did this for a couple of reasons, but one main one being that I was somewhat waiting for a missionary that I really thought I was going to marry. I was dedicated to this idea, and I wanted to be closer to where he lived when he came home so that
A number of months went by being on my own, and I although I enjoyed being single and having fun, I was getting more and more lonely. I watched as my friends got engaged, and started perfect little lives with the people they love. I wished for that for myself SO badly, but I maintained the idea of waiting for this other boy, holding out hope that my patience would bless me in the end.
That is until I saw him. In February 2009 I was sitting in Institute with my roommate at the time, Tiffany. I half jokingly told her that I was tired of being single and just wanted a boyfriend. She proceeded to point out all of the men sitting in the congregation, asking "what about that one?". Everyone was passed over with a quick no thank you...but then a tall, handsome man stood up on the front room to read a scripture. I had never seen him before. EVER. The attraction was instant, and when we got out of Institute and a friend suggested we head to dinner at Costa Vida, I was hoping he would be there.
Lucky for me, he did come. I made my way to the group table, and planted myself squarely in front of him. After a little while we finally started talking, and I remember just feeling so comfortable around him. He would smile and I would literally get butterflies. It was overwhelming though too because I hadn't felt this way in a long time. At the end of dinner I gave him my number. Yup, he didn't even need to ask. I didn't even really care if he wanted to get it or not, all I knew is I wanted to see him again.
The next day, I patiently waited for a text from him until 2 pm. Nothin. Well me being the extremely go getter person I am, wasted no time in texting him. He loves this part of the story. He maintains that I made it easy as pie to pursue me. Anyway, after some flirtatious texting, he finally asked me out on a date, and I was nervous, but was SO excited. That night we went to Chili's for dinner, and we talked for like 3 hours. It was like we had been friends forever. That night after he dropped me off, I could feel my heart racing at the thought of seeing him again, but then again I was so confused. I felt like I was doing something wrong, I felt like I was messing up this future I thought was supposed to happen with someone else.
The next night we watched a movie at my friends house and after 2 movies, and him FINALLY mustering up the courage to hold my hand, we had our first kiss outside my car. It was terrible. I say that in the kindest way possible, but I was his first kiss home from the mission, and I myself hadn't kissed anyone in quite a while. That terrible kiss didn't stop us from being together though. From that moment on, we were inseparable, and our kisses got better quickly. We were together every single day, which was perfect because he lived 2 minutes from my house...now this is an important piece of the story. His family originally from Texas, moved to Littleton Colorado for his dads work for a short period of time while he was on his mission and that is where he came home to after his mission, right into my soon to be ward. This is at the exact same time I moved to Littleton, and they moved away again a few months before we got engaged. Coincidence? In hindsight, I don't think so. Had I never moved to Littleton, I don't think I would have ever met him.
Anyway, things quickly got more serious between Scott and I as we would talk more and more personally about ourselves and shared things about us that no one else knew. I knew what Scott wanted. He didn't make it a secret, but the more time I spent with him, and the more I cared about him, the more confused I got. One night after dinner at my family's house my mom pulled out my baby pictures to show Scott, and as he drove me back to my apartment that night he told me something that scared me. He told me that when he was looking at my baby pictures, he felt like he knew me before. He said that I look familiar, like he had known me all his life. Like he knew me before this life. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda freaked out.
That night I didn't sleep AT ALL. I was so sick, like physically ill. For the next 3 days, I was so anxious all the time that I finally started praying that God would help me with what I needed to do. I was falling in love with Scott, but I was also in what I thought was love with this other person, and I didn't know what to do. Some people say that you can't be in love with more than one person, and I agreed. And that is why I was so torn. I didn't understand how I could feel so strongly about one person and then be falling in love with another. Scott was perfect. He was everything I had ever wanted. He was a good man, active in church, funny, a return missionary, kind, smart, handsome, treated me SO well, and loved me regardless of my past. I was stuck. I finally called my mom and told her my dilemma. I knew what I wanted her to say. I wanted her to say that Scott wasn't the one. I wanted her to tell me that I should just keep waiting and that this other person was right. Instead she told me "Im sorry Morgan, but maybe Scott is the right one for you. Maybe you feel this way because you are supposed to marry him."
...I broke up with Scott that night, and I did it because I thought being alone would help me make an unbiased decision. Those 3 days I was praying harder than I ever have in my entire life. I was begging the Lord to show me what I needed to do, and the only answer I recieved each and every time I prayed, was I needed to wait. I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to wait till this other guy got home, and I felt peaceful that if I did wait, I would easily know what to do.
So I waited, and waited, and waited. In between that time Scott and I would get back together because I missed being around him, and then I would get cold feet over the thought of commitment and break up with him again. I practically tortured him. Finally October 2009 rolled around this missionary I was "waiting" for finally came home. He called me, we arranged to meet, and I almost vomited. I didn't sleep much the night before I saw him. It didn't help that my mom talked to me about Scott that night and asked me a question that I feel like changed everything, and made everything so much harder. She said "What if everything goes well with so and so, and you decide to end things with Scott? Can you imagine letting him go? Can you imagine living life without him?" Jeez thanks mom, way to make this SOOOO much more difficult. But the truth was, I couldn't imagine life without him, I couldn't imagine letting him go. I loved Scott, and subconsciously I think I already knew what I wanted. I think by this time I was just holding on to this love I had for a person I used to know. I was in love with and idea of someone that used to exist to me, but hadn't been present in my life for the last 2 years. It was easier the idea of letting this other guy go, than letting Scott go, because in reality, he has already been gone for a long time. But life without Scott just didn't seem right.
The night I saw the other guy was very interesting. It was exciting to see him again, and he was as fun and funny as I remembered, but I couldn't deny that I didn't feel the same. At the end of the night, and after talking it became obvious that he didn't feel the same about me either. It really was SO clear, it was so obvious, and Heavenly Father had answered my prayers. But I couldn't help but a get a little angry after we talked though. Not because he didn't feel the same anymore, but angry because I felt like I had wasted so much time. I was angry that all this time I could have been happy with Scott, but instead I was clinging to a thought, an idea, a fantasy, a person that never was meant to be.
I didn't cry, and I didn't waste one more minute. After I got inside my house, I called Scott. He knew I was meeting up tonight. Before this meeting I had told Scott that I did love him, and I was pretty sure what I wanted to do, I just needed the confirmation. I told him that something drastic had to happen for me to change my mind. When I talked to Scott, I told him "Remember when I told you that something drastic had to happen? Well something did, and I KNOW I want to be with you." The next few minutes, Scott just cried (and he never cries) and I cried with him, and for the first time ever, I knew who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, with entire surety.
Scott and I were engaged less than one month later on Thanksgiving Day 2009, and we were married for time and all eternity 3 months later on February 20, 2010, and now we have been happily married for 2 and a half years. In the end our love story took a long time, but it was forever worth it.