Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I thought I was pregnant.

Yes, you read that right. We had a major shocker in our home a few weeks ago when both Scott and I thought I was most certainly big fat PREGO. To say that it was surprise is a slight understatement. To say I was nervous to see a big 'ol + on that test and genuinely concerned? A huge understatement.

It all started when I was grouchy as all hell, and I mean grouchy. For no real reason at all. I have a tendency to wear my feelings on my face, and my body language speaks worlds about my attitude, but this was off the charts. I was flying off the handle, bawling like a prepubescent 10 year old girl over commercials or tv shows that touched me in anyway, and the only time it has ever played out like that? Pregnant.

At first it really didn't cross my mind much. We are not trying right now, and in fact, adding another lulu to the Allen team hasn't really been on our radar at all. Then the cravings happened. Then the heartburn. Then the sore boobs (TMI). Then the nausea every night at bedtime. My skin was changing, my hair was changing.
This carried on for 2 weeks. I have been pregnant twice folks. I know how I feel when I'm pregnant, and I was feeling pretty dang pregnant, and hubby was the first one to point it out.

It became pretty regular that I was demanding Mexican food followed by me apologizing my diva ways, followed by Scottifer replying "It's ok, you're pregnant. You can't help it." I would boldly state "I'm not pregnant!" followed by a "suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure" from the Mr. It was kind of a running joke that aired on the side of all seriousness, but for whatever reason I was in denial. I didn't want to think it was possible, but part of me was genuinely worried it was true. I refused to take a pregnancy test, thinking that if I just ignored it, it would happen.

See, it's not that I don't want to have another baby, it's just I have SO much going on in my life right now, and we have so much coming up this year, that a surprise bundle of joy didn't really fit in those plans. Anywhere. I sat down with Scott one night and we had a serious talk. How does he feel about another baby? He expressed concern just like me, but I could tell that there was a hint of excitement. That excitement became more evident after listening to him chat on the phone to a good friend who just informed Scott that his wife is expecting. As they talked Scott walked past me saying to his friend "I'm glad Ava was girl, because if for whatever reason I only had 1 baby, I'm glad it's a girl. But I don't think I'm gonna have a problem having just one baby." As he nudged my arm and gave me a wink.

Well early early the next morning, I crawled back in to bed after mother nature notified me that I was in fact NOT pregnant, and I lightly nudged Scott, "Hey, hey. Guess what? I'm not pregnant! Isn't that great?" His response? "Oh. I guess so."

The whole next day I felt horrible that I was entirely more excited about my monthly gift than he was, and I started to think that the possibility of having another baby so soon didn't seem that bad after all. Scott is an amazing father. Amazing. And well Ava? She is just pretty much the freaking coolest baby on the planet. I wouldn't mind having another one of her for sure. Plus I have been blessed with the amazing gift of being able to get pregnant, and fairly easily at that. I got pregnant with Ava only 2 weeks after I miscarried my first one. Baring children is such a huge blessing and something I shouldn't take for granted since it's something many women struggle with.

I still don't know that right now is the right time to add to our family again, but what I do know is that the Lord has us in mind and whenever he decides to send us another child, even it it's not in the plans, I am going to be grateful have that opportunity and to be a mom again.

p.s...The day after I was not pregnant, all my suspicious prego symptoms just went away. Crazy! My guess? An abnormally crazy bout of PMS.


  1. i feel ya.
    a day that i cannot wait to feel the joy of life beginning inside me... but also a day that if it appears unexpected may shake my world a bit.

    here's hoping when the time does come, it feels just right.

    xo - heather

  2. That is so weird. Could it have been a miscarriage maybe...?

  3. That's so crazy! Seems like an awful long time to have PMS, but the human body has a tendency to surprise.

    When the time comes for another one it'll be right. :)

  4. I just found your blog and you dont know how much this post moved me. It happened to me this past week and it's been tough. I freaked out for the longest time and when I was actually coming to terms with it nature came by to say NO.

    The Lord has a plan for you and for me and for everyone. Remembering child bearing and motherhood is a blessing is the first step! ;)

    Thanks for being so honest and sharing this experience.

  5. Crazy PMS! hahaha that was hilarious! I really enjoyed reading your thought-I-was-preggo-but-wasn't story!
    Love your blog too!!! I'm your newest follower!

    With Love,